I’ve spent a few days mulling over Infernal before penning this review.

A chance to gather my thoughts perhaps? Articulate just how much I enjoyed it? Look back over the plot nuances to see if everything fell neatly into place?

Sadly nope – it’s just that I cannot for the life of me find anything positive to say about the film.

A truly tedious exercise in creepy kid horror, Infernal is chock full of awful scripting, breathtakingly-poor acting, crap effects and a rubbish finish.

Oh, and it’s done in a found footage style…..

You know exactly what you’re getting right from the off, when the opening scene features Nathan and Sophia (Andy Ostroff and Heather Adair), with she telling he that there is a baby on the way.

Ostroff’s reaction is priceless, void of any emotion and begrudgingly suggesting that perhaps they should get married.

Alarm bells are already well and truly ringing for the film’s appeal, and we then shift to the marriage, the pregnancy and eventually the daughter arriving herself.

Turns out their daughter may be the spawn of the devil, which they seem to come to the conclusion of via the fact that she ‘combs her hair too much’.

We get an exorcism, some ropey effects, and a bloke that creeps around the house at night in a devil costume, patting people on the head.

And that’s it, with the film ending with no real finale.

The performances are disastrous, and you really do pity poor Alyssa Koerner (who plays daughter Imogene) who must have wondered just what the hell was going on.

Bryan Coyne writes and directs, but seems to forget that he is helming a horror movie, with an interminable chunk of the film given over to the wedding of Nathan and Sophia, complete with ‘witty’ on-camera comments from party guests that add absolutely zilch to the film.

With a slick cover and a neat title, Infernal is one of those films that will sucker people in while stacked on the shelves of HMV and Tesco.

But, I implore you, do yourself a favour and steer clear.

 

DVD Review: Infernal
1.0Overall Score
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About The Author

Simon Fitzjohn

Simon is a journalism tutor in London, who also just happens to be a movie fanatic, with a craving for the darker side of cinema. He has written two books, one on the horror films of director Bob Clark (2014) and the other on the history of the character Norman Bates (2015). His third book, on the work of British exploitation director Pete Walker, is due in 2017.