Rental Review: The Dead Undead Simon Fitzjohn July 16, 2011 DVDs & Rentals 2227 Fed up with zombies? Had your fill of vampires? If so, the makers of The Dead Undead have a treat for you as they present…..wait for it…..zombie vampires! That ridiculous premise is the central strand of this latest straight to DVD offering, starring that juggernaut of cinema Luke Goss. And before you start to think just how the concept of a zombie vampire works, then don’t sweat it, as the filmmakers haven’t either. Sample dialogue: Girl – How do you kill a zombie vampire? Guy – With great difficulty. How’s about that for scripting? There is very little in the way of plot to shout about here, which is hardly surprising. A bunch of annoying college kids arrive at a motel in the middle of nowhere, find it deserted but (as you would) decide there is nothing to be concerned about. Shortly afterwards, zombie vampires turn up and start their munching. Can any of the kids survive? Well, yes they can, as Goss and his gang of tooled up machos arrive in the nick of time to start blasting the baddies to smithereens. All is not as it seems with Goss’ goons though, as it turns out they are vampires themselves, who have taken it upon themselves to rid the world of this new menace. Basically this film is 90 minutes or so of bloody shootouts, with an admittedly impressive bullet count. Now that is entertaining enough, but when it is all the film has to offer (say likeBattle:Los Angeles) things do tend to drag. You do get the added pleasure of Commando star Vernon Wells turning up for a last-gasp cameo, but when he arrives on screen to bellow his famous line from Mad Max 2 (which makes no sense in the context he uses it) even that is wasted. A messy mix of relentless action, dodgy acting and poor decision making, The Dead Undead is very much one to watch when you have absolutely nothing better to do.