Rental Review: Bloodrayne – The Third Reich Simon Fitzjohn May 6, 2011 DVDs & Rentals 5029 Nazi vampires, gory knife slashings, lesbian sex scenes and an over-the-top performance from bug-eyed Clint Howard – sounds too good to miss right? Well, that may be so, but when I tell you that this is yet another ‘classic’ from the mind (and directorial hand) of Uwe Boll, you could understand my caution. Truth be told though, while this is never going to make anybody’s recommends lists, if you are in the mood for some ridiculous, no-thought-involved carnage, you really could do a lot worse. The film kicks off with Rayne (Natassia Malthe) intercepting a convoy on its way to a concentration camp, laying waste to a gaggle of Nazi soldiers, as well as Commandant Ekart Brand (Michael Pare). In need of blood, rather than simply slice Brand up like everyone else, Rayne decides to take a bite out of him as well. Off she toddles happily, only for Brand to be transported back to his base where, under the watchful eye of crazed scientist Doctor Mangler (Howard) he transforms into a vampiric beast of immense power. Rayne elects to team up with some resistance fighters to continue her quest, while Brand is determined to track her down and take his revenge. Basically this is 90 minutes or so of decent action and poor acting, and Malthe is certainly pleasing on the eye in her tight leathers as she carves up some bad guys. There is also a copious amount of shagging – so much so in fact that my fellow critic (Lumin) elected to spend much of the running time assessing whose breasts were real and whose fake. I doubt anybody will rent this if they have no idea what they are letting themselves in for – Boll, after all, has become a one-man Z-movie industry over the years. But for sheer entertainment value this still gets a half-thumbs up.